My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
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