She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
