my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
I'm like, not good at living.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
