I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
people are starting to question the shark bite story
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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