I think my vagina is haunted
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
it's not cheating when I paid for it
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
Randomize
