To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
accomplished twins. life is a go
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
Randomize