they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
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