and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
Randomize
