Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
