I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
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