If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
