that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize