you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
where does the pee come out of this thing
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
