suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Randomize
