Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
