And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
