If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
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