i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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