I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
