Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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