From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
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