college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
Randomize