dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
