I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
He kissed a someone with a penis
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
