I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Randomize
