hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
