after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
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