Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
