i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
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