from now on my penis is your penis
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
