I'm in a cab, in a strange city, and my driver looks like he's going to eat me. My facebook password is **** I want you to have the one thing I hold dearest to my heart.
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
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