You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
I am mentally ready for anal.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
