we should wear snuggies to the strip club
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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