so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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