Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Randomize