you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Randomize
