Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Randomize
