I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
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