I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize
