The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
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