your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
You work out of a Hotel?
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Randomize
