Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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