their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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