Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
Randomize
