It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
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