Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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