You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize