I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
I'm just crazy horny about you
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
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