went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Randomize
