I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Randomize
