I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
Redeem this text for a blowjob
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
