This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
