i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Randomize