He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
Randomize
