I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
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