I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
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