Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
