gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
