Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
I just cut my nipple shaving
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
Still dying that you shit outside
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
Randomize
