Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
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