By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize