Well apparently he's into motor boating.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
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