According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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