This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
