if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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