Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
3 2 1 whiskey
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Randomize
