For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
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