In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
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