I used to practice getting hit by cars.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
Randomize
